


What You Wanted

by BlueArianWolf



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Depression, Heartbreak, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 05:05:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14465640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueArianWolf/pseuds/BlueArianWolf
Summary: When Keith leaves Lance unexpectedly, he's left to wonder what he did wrong and try to make it to a future that no longer involved the love he lost.





	What You Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all, I'm currently in the works of writing a long fic based on different songs but in the mean time I did a pretty short one as kind of a side filler for myself lol.
> 
> This fic is based around the song What You Wanted by Andrew Allen.

_'Is this what you wanted?'_ Lance thought to himself, not able to stop the heartache that washed over him anew. Lately, he always felt like he was drowning. Like no matter how much he fought to break through the surface of this force that was constricting his body, he just couldn't do it. His heart was heavy and it was difficult to breathe.

Lance had heard about this new guy, Shiro. That he was apparently perfect. That he was strong, good-looking, sweet-natured. And as Lance stared across the street into the window of the coffee shop where the man he still loved sat with his new partner, perhaps a small part of him could see some truth in that. Shiro was handsome and he was definitely in shape. He was obviously a bit older, but judging by the smile on Keith's face, he was making him happy.

 _'But he isn't me.'_ Lance's thoughts continued. And sure, maybe that was a little egotistical to think, but he was sure he could have been everything Keith needed and more. So, where did things go wrong?

His mind began to drift back to December. Back to the moment his whole world came crashing down around him. He and Keith had been dating for just over a year, and other than some occassional bickering, Lance had thought their relationship was going quite well. Really well actually. He had given Keith a key to his appartment since he basically lived there anyways with how often he was over. Sure they got on each others nerves every now and then, but what couple didn't, right?

So when Lance had returned home one day to find all of Keith's things gone, he was more than shocked. An envelope had been slipped under the door. In it was the key he had given to Keith and a note that said "I'm sorry. I gave it my best try. -Keith". What had that even meant? Not only did Lance not get a proper goodbye, but he had been left with no explanation as to why Keith felt the need to leave him. What had he done wrong?

For almost a week, Lance had tried calling Keith and he left dozens of voicemails and text messages. He thought if he could just speak to him, find out what he had done to turn Keith away, perhaps he could fix things. But he never got a reply back and Keith never answered his calls. Eventually, the number was disconnected entirely.

A couple weeks after that, he heard through their mutual friend, Pidge, that Keith was dating someone new. If Lance had felt worthless and heartbroken before, it was nothing compared to the blow this new information had on him. According to Pidge, Keith had apparently been seen hanging around this new guy before Keith had even left him. Why? What had he done to deserve this? What could he have done better? Why hadn't Keith just talked to him, surely Lance could have fixed whatever the problem was. Was he not around enough for Keith? Or was he maybe around too much? Did he joke around to often? Was Keith not attracted to him any more? He just wanted to know why.

And now here he was, three months later, finally laying eyes on Keith again after all that happened, smiling and laughing with this new guy as if everything was right with the world. _'I would have given you everything that you wanted.'_ Lance thought to himself sadly, his eyes drifting from Keith to Shiro. _'Is this really what you wanted?'_

Lance sighed softly, turning away from the window and continuing his trek. He had wasted enough time and he didn't want to be late for his appointment or he would also be wasting his money. Besides, he looked forward to these sessions, not that he had originally. It had been Hunk's idea and Lance hadn't been thrilled about it, but he had to admit that Hunk had been right. This was exactly what he needed. Afterall, he had just gotten through the moment of seeing Keith again, not to mention seeing him with his new lover. And while it was extremely painful to see, Lance had been able to kerp himself together. He would call that good progress. Something he would be sure to mention in todays session.

As the months went by, things continued to get easier for Lance. There were still certain things that would always remind him of Keith, but it no longer sent him into fits of depression. Most things just felt numb to him now.

It was September before he was hit with a wave of emotions again. He had been getting ready for work and he had placed the radio on as calming background noise that he occasionally liked to sing to. He was humming along to a song, trying to place the familiarity of it, when it hit him that it was a song that Keith often used to sing along to. This realisation brought with it a painful amount of bittersweet memories.

Then Lance felt the need to do something he hadn't in a long time. He went to his bedside table, opened the drawer, and pulled out a picture that had been shoved under things in the back. It was a picture of Keith that Lance couldn't bare to part with. He had gotten rid of anything else that connected him of Keith per his therapists instructions, but he couldn't let this go. 

The picture held a smiling Keith, arms wrapped tightly around a large hippo plushie. Lance had bought it for him the first time they went to the zoo after seeing how much Keith was enthralled with them. For a brief moment, he wondered if Keith had kept the hippo or if he had decided it wasn't worth keeping around just like he had with Lance. These thoughts hit him pretty hard, but months of therapy sessions taught him how to handle these thoughts. He closed his eyes and took deep breathes while thinking of five good things in his life.

He had two best friends who truly loved him. He had a decent job that he enjoyed. He was almost finished with school and he was doing well grade-wise. His family would be coming to visit soon. He had finally gotten that video game he had wanted.

Once Lance was calm again, he gazed back down at the picture. He was absent-mindly stroking the edges, remembering that on that day he had known he could have spent the rest of his life waking up to that smile.

In spite of how much that hurt, Lance couldn't help hoping that Keith was happy. That being with this Shiro guy was worth it for him. That he was being treated right and that he was being given everything because that's what Lance wanted him to have, everything. **"I hope this is what you wanted."** He said, softly.

An alarm on his phone cued him that he needed to finish getting ready and get to work, so with one last look at the picture, he got up and dropped the picture into the small trash can near his desk. It was time to really move on.

With the little time he had left, he decided to skip his usual routine and just straighten himself up to look presentable before grabbing his keys and wallet and heading to the door. This was it. It was time for him to really be happy again. He finally felt like he could really do it. Really move on with his life. He could live with just knowing Keith was happy, even with someone else.

With that in mind, he opened his door to leave, almost colliding with someone standing on the other side. Lance was taken off guard, as the only visitors he really got were Hunk and Pidge and they both knew he was working today. But it took him only a moment to register who it was, and this threw him off even more.

There was Keith, hand raised as if he had been about to knock, face full of surprise at the door having been opened before he had been given the chance to do anything. Then his face went flush and his gaze fell to the floor as his hand dropped down beside him.

There was silence between the two of them, and Lance was left standing there with such a wide range of emotions that he was having a hard time dealing with them. He was confused and angry and hurting. He didn't know whether to punch Keith or hug him and never let go. He wasn't prepared for this moment. **"Why?"** Was all he could choke out, fighting back tears.

Keith stayed quiet, and at first Lance wondered if he would speak at all, but he finally looked up to meet Lance's gaze. **"It wasn't what I wanted."**

**Author's Note:**

> So that's it! Please feel free to tell me what you liked or didn't like about it. I appreciate constructive criticism. Please let me know if you find any errors as well. Thanks so much for reading!


End file.
